Deck Progress

The beams are up!

But there's a bit more work to go:)

Jen's Sociology

People fascinate me.  We're each unique, yet we live our entire lives trying to fit in some way with the people around us. 

Because people fascinate me, I also have this thing about movies that depict "normal" life.  Yesterday I picked up the movie Everybody's Fine from the video store. 

 

It had a good cast (DeNiro, Barrymore, Beckinsale) and the movie summary sounded like a "normal" life kind of movie that I might like.  It wasn't an incredible story with action, humor, or suspense...it was exactly what I was hoping:  normal. 

My favorite part about movies like this is that they are based on relationships and how they develop through years of life together.  It's so interesting to me how our intentions and perceptions are just that, ours.  We may feel we have the best intentions in a relationship, but they could be perceived completely different by the other person. 

Everybody's Fine is about a dad's relationship with his adult children after the death of his wife.  The kids had always been closer to their mom and didn't know how to open up to their dad about their lives without disappointing him. 

Another thing this movie got me thinking about is how roles develop in a family.  The dad in the movie didn't intentionally separate himself from his kids through the years.  He worked hard supporting the family and what he thought were their dreams throughout the years.  The role of listener became mom's role; while the role of talker/motivator became dad's role. 

This all gets me to wondering what my relationship will be like with Luke as he gets older and how it will develop through the years as he matures.  Frankly it terrifies me.  At five years old, he still wants to be with me most of the time and likes "doing" life together.  But I know that life will change as he grows.  He will become interested in more things away from home and will be influenced more by other people, mostly friends.  I'm by no means saying that I want to isolate him to stop the inevitable, it just makes me wonder what the years ahead hold for our family. 

The movie also gets me thinking about the generations before me.  What all has fed into the lives of my parents and grandparents to make them who they are today?  Which then led to impacting my young life at home. 

That was a lot of rambling and I guess you've gotten a glimpse of the sociologist in me:)  And to think, I hate sociology in high school! 

Anyway, if you're interested in checking out any other "normal" life movies I've liked, here are a few:

• The Thing About My Folks - LOVE this one!
• It Runs in the Family

Looking Forward

I was thinking this weekend about how much fun stuff we have to look forward to so I just had to get it all out:)

This Week - The Olmsted County Fair.  I've spent my fair share of time at fairs as a kid, but we haven't gotten into going much with Luke yet.  I'm thinking this year he'll be more interested in the rides and I always like to see the animals:)

This Weekend - My sis, Bridge, and her fiance, Ross, are moving into their new house just a couple blocks from us!  We're all looking forward to having them in the neighborhood:)

Next Week - The Freeborn County Fair.  Now this is a page right out of my history book.  As a kid, I used to spend a few days with my grandparents during the "Albert Lea fair".  I've always liked this fair and they have great entertainment selection, especially if you like country music.  Admission to the fair gets you entrance to the concerts each night.  Cheap entertainment!  There are a few concerts I'd like to see this year, we'll see how the weather looks before making the trip.

August will certainly be fun-filled...

• Showers and bachelorette party for my sis
• Getting Luke ready for school
• Family reunion with my dad's side of the family.  Again, this one will be a trip down memory lane for me.  We'll be heading to Wells, MN for Kernel Days.  We used to hit this festival up every year and watch the parade when I was a kid, so I'm looking forward to bringing Luke and spending the day with family:)
• Enjoying our new deck which should be done mid-August

And, September brings many long awaited events...

• Luke starts kindergarten at Gibbs Elementary!
• Bridge and Ross's wedding - 9/17/11!
• My final year of MOPS, Mothers of Preschoolers, starting - I know, Luke's not a preschooler any more, but they let moms come even when they have kindergartners;)

October/November are a ways off, but we're in the process of planning a trip for our 30th birthdays to Florida to celebrate with friends (two of whom are also turning 30). 

So much fun to be had, now to be patient while we wait and to enjoy the moments when they arrive!

A Super Hero Kind of Day

Who said watching TV was a passive activity???

Luke & Ethan watching Avenger episodes on DVD...

Let the Deck Begin!

So excited for the first signs of our deck found on the driveway today!

Steve Kirk, of Kirk Builders, will be starting as soon as the end of this week!

If I seem overly excited about a deck, know that we've waited seven years in this house to build a deck, so we're really looking forward to it:)

First Steps

So our little man is starting kindergarten this fall.  We've done all of the school screenings, school visits, etc, but we made one of the first very real steps (at least in my mind) toward kindergarten this week:  buying the backpack.  Luke was excited to pick it out and wore it around the store, while Brent and I share a look of sadness at our boy growing up before our eyes.

Here's Luke trying out his new backpack today on our trip to the library:

Yep, those are superheros:)

Life on the Farm...

...Our version of farming anyway:) 

This summer has been largely focused on a plot of our yard that Brent converted to a garden.  You may remember this post from May.  Our new garden space has been busy growing this summer...

Tomatoes (above) and cauliflower (below) on July 4th

Our first harvest tonight (from left to right): jalapeno peppers, pea pods, green beans.

I'm prepared to make stir fry with the pea pods and green bean casserole this week!

For the remainder of the summer, we plan to try our hand at salsa with the tomatoes, peppers, onions, and cilantro.  Brent's also looking forward to the squash (I'm not a fan).  Our lettuce and strawberries have been growing, but we haven't beat the rabbits to them yet.  Every time Brent notices a berry turning red, it's gone by the next day (despite the owl decoy).  We're already planning for some form of barrier/fence around the garden boxes next year.

But as we wait for the rest of our harvest, I will continue to look for my husband where I know I can usually find him this summer...in the garden:)

P.S. If someone had told me 10 years ago that Brent would be into gardening, I never would have believed them:)  The garden is far more his thing that mine, but we're all enjoying watching it grow and learning along the way.

Fun at All Ages

Most of you probably know that I really enjoy babies, toddlers, and preschoolers.  Pretty much any kiddo under school age is in my favorite age range.  But, I am coming to realize there are some lovely traits about my soon to be school-ager and other kiddos around his age. 

Last Thursday, Luke and I spent the day with my niece and nephew, Annie (9) and Ethan (turning 5 next week).  We didn't have anything major planned, but we ended up having a really fun day together!  The kids got to our house around 8:30am.  I told them they could play while I took a shower.  And play they did!  They went right at the toys downstairs and created some imaginary world that kept them busy beyond my shower and getting completely ready for the day.  I finally asked them if they were ready to go to the parks by our house, even though I was hesitant to interrupt their imaginary world:)  We have two nice parks within walking distance of our house, so we hit them both which was especially fun because one is geared for older kids since it's at the elementary school.  Good times were had by all.

Once back to the house, we had lunch and the kids wanted to cool off in the house for a while (it was quite warm and humid even before lunch).  They went downstairs to play while I cleaned up lunch and before I knew it, they were back in their imaginary world.  This time I think it evolved into a game of school where Annie was the teacher and Luke and Ethan were the students.  Their school day consisted of quiet time, doing papers, and doing flash cards.  Annie set up two rooms downstairs as their school.  They entertained themselves for over an hour again!  And, again, I hesitated to interrupt them, but asked if they wanted to play in the pool and slip-n-slide in the backyard.  They agreed saying it was part of their "school day" that they got to play games:)  Once outside, their ingenuity continued and they started making soup out of the pool water with grass clippings and sand. 

After a while outside, we came in for a snack.  They decided that they should have game time for "school" inside, so they decided to play a board game.  The dreaded Mouse Trap came out.  I thought to myself...I really don't want to put this entire game together and read the instructions because it really doesn't even seem like much of a game to me.  But, before I could share my opinion out loud, Annie said she could read the instructions and help the boys set it up.  Sounded perfect to me!  They entertained themselves for over a half hour playing when they decided to play Sorry and asked if I would play too.  Of course I would:)  At this point in my life as a mommy, I feel a little incomplete without my daily game of Sorry...it's one of Luke's favorites right now.

And that rounded out our day...a lovely day with Annie, Ethan, and Luke:) 

Back to my original thoughts...I'm really enjoying the imagination that comes with the 5-10 year old range.  It is so fun to see their creativity in working together to create an imaginary world.  I'm also enjoying how incredibly well they play together.  No more needing to intervene because someone is not sharing or someone is crying or throwing a fit.  Ok, maybe not "no more" but far less often than the toddler years and they work out their issues better on their own now.  I'm also enjoying being able to share experiences with the kids.  They understand and anticipate things so much more and it's so fun to experience their excitement together. 

I am also grateful that in the midst of their maturing personalities and ever growing statures, that these sweet kids are still willing and even want to hold my hand while we walk to the park:) 

Check out some pictures from our fun day together...

Ethan doing his favorite thing at the park: monkey bars

Annie found her favorite thing too, it's like a mini merry-go-round

The boys checking out some pictures under the climbing wall at the park

Playing with the hose while we filled up the pool.  And yes, they are shooting the hose down each others trunks.  They thought it was hilarious and took turns shooting each other and shrieking from the cold:)

Playing Mouse Trap together sans adults:)

Peaceful

There is something very peaceful about seeing the day to a close...

And seeing the night begin...

Pics from my camera phone on my walk tonight.

Luke's Imagination

I am just so grateful for Luke's imagination on days like today. It is a gorgeous Fourth of July; our final day of eleven days of vacation together.  It has been such a blessing to share these days together both with fun outings and relaxing at home together. 

Luke has been quite a trooper through long car rides, days of running errands and working on minor house projects, and enjoying simple time at home.  Like today, we filled up his pool in the backyard and he's been playing quite a while in the hose-cold water with his sand and tub toys.  He is constantly playing imagination games with his toys, the slide, and the water. 

I am especially grateful for his imagination while he is still an only child.  We so hope to bring another child into our family, to give Luke the opportunity to become a big brother and to enjoy life with a sibling(s).  I love to hear Luke's narration of his imaginary games and to see his creativity, but I also wish he had someone to share it with.  Someone closer to his age than us.  He is still in the age range when it is fun to play with mom and dad, but I see him when he's with other kids and I know that his joy is multiplied when he can play imaginary games with friends and cousins.  One of his recent favorites has been playing "brothers" with Ethan.  Luke explained that they do homework together and wrestle and they both love it:)  So precious. 

Don't get me wrong, I know that bringing other siblings into the picture brings challenges like finding fun ideas for different aged children, working around sleep schedules for younger ones, and spats between sibling.  But, I have no doubt that the joy of having more than one outweighs the struggles that arise. 

Summer Bucket List

This summer we have been more intentional as a family to make time for the special things we want to do together.  We had several reasons feeding our intentionality:

• After last summer when we had a lot of time together as a family while Brent was not working, we did some different things together that we had never challenged ourselves to doing or had never made time for
• After a l-o-n-g winter, we were reminded how fleeting the opportunities of summer can be in Minnesota
• Knowing that Luke is starting school in the fall, we (or at least I) feel an urgency to make the most of our summer-of-freedom together before the 13 years of school years officially begin
• Luke is at a great age to try new things and maybe even remember them into the future now that he's five and a half
• Life is short

So, we have a sort of informal, summer "bucket list" if you will started on our fridge of things we'd like to do together as a family this summer.  A few of them have already come to fruition while others are still on our radar.  This past week has provided us an opportunity to make a few happen with Brent and I both off work. 

Last Friday night, we made our way downtown to take in the sites of the Rochesterfest parade.  This has become a tradition for us each summer since Luke was a toddler.  It's fun to see how his perception of the parade changes through the years.  This year he was much less intimidated by the loud sounds and was more interested in collecting candy.  It was a beautiful night and we stayed to the very end of the parade this year, which was a first for the three of us.

Last Saturday, we headed to Wisconsin Dells for four days with the Pickers.  This was a monumental first:  the first, three generation, family vacation!  Thanks to the ingenuity and organizing efforts of my lovely sisters-in-law, the first time trip came to life:)  We had a great time and all had a lot of fun on the water slides at The Great Wolf Lodge, playing mini golf at Pirate's Cove, playing and riding rides at Knucklehead's, and shopping at Tanger Outlet Center.  All in all, a great, age appropriate trip for the kids and fun for the adults too.  We have way too many pics to post on the blog, but check out Kodak Gallery for our June 2011 photo album. 

Today, we took advantage of the "cooler" weather (anything feels better after 100 degree weather) and took a hike at Oxbow Park with a stop at Zollman Zoo in the middle.  We did this last spring/summer and really enjoyed the nice trail options available and it's always fun to stop to see the animals:)  Check out a few pics from our hike:

Near the middle before we got to the zoo

Near the end when Luke was tired and Brent gave him a ride on his shoulders

P.S. I don't want to give the impression that the path is all stairs as these pictures happen to show.  These were two isolated areas.  95% of the path was a dirt trail.

Luke enjoying a very bubbly bath after a sweaty, dirty afternoon of hiking:)

It has been a wonderful week of fun together, relaxing together, and simply enjoying a beautiful summer week of vacation together.

Heaven is for Real

I'm a reader and love to dog-ear pages of books with lines or paragraphs that stand out to me or impacted me while I read them.  I always have aspirations of documenting my favorite quotes/segments from books, but have yet to find a "good" way to do it.  I just finished reading Heaven is for Real tonight and had to document a couple things from it.

First, I was taken by the simplicity of the quote below:

What is childlike humility?  It's not the lack of intelligence but the lack of guile.  The lack of an agenda.  It's that precious, fleeting time before we have accumulated enough pride or position to care what other people might think.  The same un-self-conscious honesty that enables a three-year-old to splash joyfully in a rain puddle, or tumble laughing in the grass with a puppy, or point out loudly that you have something hanging out of your nose, is what is required to enter heaven.  It is the opposite of ignorance--it is intellectual honesty: to be willing to accept reality and to call things what they are even when it's hard. 

I love it when someone can explain large concepts to me in simple terms, and this one was especially impactful to me because I live with Luke, who still has this childlike humility.  It is easy for me to understand what the author, the father of the boy who experienced heaven during a life threatening surgery, learned from his own son.  Brent and I refer to Luke's childlike humility has being in "Luke's world".   He can literally enter into Luke's world within seconds, even while in the midst of a conversation with someone in the "real" world.  We love to watch him.  He has no idea that we are watching or that we can hear him.  Brent and I try to watch as inconspicuously as possible so as not to interrupt his time in Luke's world.  It is a glorious thing to watch, such a pure, unadulterated joy.  I don't know how capable we are of such joy as adults.  I know that I have a tendency of minimizing joy or hurrying it by moving on from the moment too quickly.  I try to capture it in pictures to remember the moment, but I'm not sure a camera (or at least my photographic skills) can capture it entirely.  It is really more the emotion of the moment than the physical smile on some one's face. 

Overall, Heaven is for Real gives a beautifully simple look at heaven through the eyes of a child.  For that alone, I recommend the book. 

But, the second excerpt really brought the book home for me:

    One evening in October, I (the author) was sitting at the kitchen table working on a sermon.  Sonja (author's wife) was around the corner in the living room, working on the business books...I heard Colton's footsteps padding up the hallway and caught a glimpse of him circling the couch, where he then planted himself directly in front of Sonja. 
    "Mommy, I have two sisters," Colton said. 
    I put down my pen.  Sonja didn't.  She kept on working. 
    Colton repeated himself.  "Mommy, I have two sisters." 
    Sonja looked up from her paperwork and shook her head slightly.  "No, you have your sister, Cassie, and...do you mean your cousin, Traci?" 
    "No." Colton clipped off the word adamantly.  "I have two sisters.  You had a baby die in your tummy, didn't you?" 
    At that moment, time stopped in the Burpo household, and Sonja's eyes grew wide.  Just a few seconds before, Colton had been trying unsuccessfully to get his mom to listen to him.  Now, even from the kitchen table, I could see that he had her undivided attention. 
    "Who told you I had a baby die in my tummy?"  Sonya said, her tone serious. 
    "She did, Mommy.  She said she died in your tummy." 
    Then Colton turned and started to move on.  But after the bomb he'd just dropped, Sonja was just getting started.  Before our son could get around the couch, Sonja's voice rang out in an all-hands-on-deck red alert.  "Colton Todd Burpo, you get back here right now!" 
    Colton spun around and caught my eye.  His face said What did I just do?
    I knew what my wife had to be feeling.  Losing that baby was the most painful event of her life.  We had explained it to Cassie; she was older.  But we hadn't told Colton, judging the topic a bit beyond a four-year-old's capacity to understand.  From the table, I watched quietly as emotions rioted across Sonja's face.
    A bit nervously, Colton slunk back around the couch and faced his mom again, this time much more warily.  "It's okay, Mommy," he said. "She's okay.  God adopted her."
Sonja slid off the couch and knelt down in front of Colton so that she could look him in the eyes.  "Don't you mean Jesus adopted her?" she said.
    "No, Mommy.  His Dad did!"
    Sonya turned and looked at me.  In that moment, she later told me, she was trying to stay calm, but she was overwhelmed.  Our baby...was--is!--a girl, she thought.
Sonja focused on Colton, and I could hear the effort it took to steady her voice. "So what did she look like?"
    "She looked a lot like Cassie,"  Colton said.  "She is just a little bit smaller, and she had dark hair."
    Sonja's dark hair.
    As I watched, a blend of pain and joy played across my wife's face.  Cassie and Colton have my blond hair.  She had even jokingly complained to me before, "I carry these kids for nine months, and they both come out looking like you!"  Now there was a child who looked like her.  A daughter.  I saw the first hint of moisture glint in my wife's eyes.
    Now Colton went on without prompting.  "In heaven, this little girl ran up to me, and she wouldn't stop hugging me," he said in a tone that clearly indicated he didn't enjoy all this hugging from a girl.
    "Maybe she was just happy that someone from her family was there," Sonja offered.  "Girls hug.  When we're happy, we hug."
    Colton didn't seem convinced.
    Sonja's eyes lit up and she asked, "What was her name?  What was the little girls' name?"
    Colton seemed to forget about all the yucky girl hugs for a moment.  "She doesn't have a name.  You guys didn't name her."
    How did he know that?
    You're right, Colton," Sonja said.  "We didn't even know she was a she."
Then Colton said something that still rings in my ears: "Yeah, she said she just can't wait for you and Daddy to get to heaven."
    From the kitchen table, I could see that Sonja was barely holding it together.  She gave Colton a kiss and told him he could go play.  And when he left the room, tears spilled over her cheeks.
    "Our baby is okay," she whispered.  "Our baby is okay."
    From that moment on, the wound from one of the most painful episodes in our lives, losing a child we had wanted very much, began to heal.  For me, losing the baby was a terrible blow.  But Sonja had told me that to her, the miscarriage not only seared her heart with grief, but it also felt like a personal failure.
"You do all the right things, eat all the right things, and you pray for the baby's health, but still this tiny baby dies inside you." she had once told me.  "I feel guilty.  I know in my mind that it wasn't my fault, but there's still this guilt."
    We had wanted to believe that our unborn child had gone to heaven.  Even though the Bible is largely silent on this point, we had accepted it on faith.  But now, we had an eyewitness; a daughter we had never met was waiting eagerly for us in eternity.

The painful loss of miscarriage has been a part of our story as well, which made this excerpt so very real.  The author is right, there is nothing in scripture clearly stating that the souls of those lost prior to birth had a future in eternity.  But, we are certain that each person, born or unborn, is precious to God "For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb." (Psalm 139:13)  The beautiful thought that our babies are in heaven waiting for us was so touching.