Friday, April 18, 2014

Different Strokes

I'm sure you've heard these expressions or ones similar:

Different strokes for different folks

To each his own

Whatever floats your boat

Well, I've been thinking of these expressions more lately as I consider the vast difference in personalities of our children.  They may have genetically come from the same two parents, but they have certainly gotten a different mix of personality traits.  I've also been reading Growing Up First Born, by Dr. Kevin Leman, which has been very insightful in understanding myself (a first born) and parenting Luke (our first born) and the uniquenesses and challenges that our first born personalities present.

One one hand, we have Luke, who is responsible, conscientious, quiet, calm, and cautious.  On the other hand, we have Nora, who is emotional, loud, adventurous, volatile, and affectionate.

Here are some recent examples:

All four of us were grocery shopping the other day.  While we were at the check out lane, Nora disappears behind the check out counter and into the cart corral.  The cashier had to show us where she went and made a joke about how she'd love for her to stay with them, but she should really go home with us.  If this were Luke at 20 months, he would have been content to hang with us in line.

Nora regularly hurts herself doing ordinary tasks like walking, climbing on to a chair, etc.  Our initial reaction is to say "Oh, honey, are you ok?", but she just continues about her merry way without a reaction.  If this were Luke, he would either be embarrassed or want some recognition from us of his mishap.

Luke recently started walking to and from school with his cousin, Ethan, now that the weather is getting nicer and the boys are getting a little older.  I realized after a week of this new routine, that I never really talked to him about our expectations for him walking to and from school (i.e. don't take rides from strangers, walk on the sidewalk and cross at corners, stick with your cousin, etc).  I just assumed that my responsible, cautious boy would handle it well.  I can't speak for the future, but I highly doubt I will feel the same way with Nora when she embarks on a new independence like this.

Despite their many differences, our kiddos have many similarities too:

  • They both love music.  Nora's favorite thing to do before bed is to read a couple books and sing songs.  Her favorites include: ABCs, Twinkle Twinkle, You Are My Sunshine, Jesus Loves Me, Itsy Bitsy Spider.  She's also starting to sing along with songs on the radio and will chime in during the chorus to words she recognizes.  I remember Luke doing the same thing as a toddler.  We also all love a good family dance party at home:)
  • They look alike.  I guess this is where the genetics are obvious:)  I'm sure their similarities will decrease once Nora grows a girly hairdo, but for now, they look very similar as toddlers and there is no mistaking them as siblings. 
  • They both love to read.  It is nothing for Nora and I to sit down to read 20 picture books.  She usually pages through one book while I read a different one aloud.  We'll find her "reading" a story she's familiar with by repeating words she remembers and using similar inflection.  Luke has always loved reading too.  Recently, he's enjoyed reading chapter books that are beyond his reading level with Brent and I.  He and Brent just finished the first of the Cat Warriors books.  He has also loved the process of learning to read.  He loves reading to Nora (though he does wear down when she requests the same book over and over again:)) and enjoys finding chapter books in his reading level (especially chapter books series).
  • They are both very verbal and communicated at a young age.  

Understanding people and their idiosyncrasies fascinates me and I especially love watching our kids grow, develop, and come into their unique personalities:)

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